Ah yes, the lovely Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. So beautiful… so crazy.
More often than it should, the syphili
s of socialism/communism infects the minds of so many ‘Murican’s and manifest itself in “the crazy”, a term that describes anyone convinced that capitalism and freedom from gub’ment is a bad thing.
When those that have the cosmetic appeal of say, a Maxine Waters or a Nancy Pelosi, who cares if they’ve got “the crazy”? Just another ugly broad shouting nonsense right?
But when it rots the mind of the beautiful, it’s a tragedy.
Fortunately for the superficial male, the rest of AOC is just fine, nay yummy! But how do we get past “the crazy”?
10. Focus On The Now
You aren’t in an after hours joint called “The Monkey Palace” seeking philosophical discussion. You’re there to scoop up some company. So focus on the now if she start’s comparing the threat of Nazism to so called climate change:
Nod your head, remind yourself how soft her cheek looks, smile and focus on the now.
9. Avoid Right/Wrong Dichotomies
It’s very tempting to see the world in a right and wrong way of doing things, especially if you’re a Libertarian and know you’re right.
So when she starts talking about socialized medicine and say’s things like:
Nod your head, remind yourself how delicious she is, smile and avoid right/wrong dichotomies.
8. Watch Your Thoughts
Think about what you’re thinking about. Work on paying more gooder attention to your thoughts and do your best to push them in a more accepting direction.
Even if she say’s something sinister like:
Nod your head, remind yourself she’s finer than frog hair, smile and watch your thoughts.
7. Reverse The Situation
When dealing with a Level 4 commie, present yourself as a Level 5. Out crazy her crazy. Tell her you sleep with a lock of Lenin’s goat-tee hair under your pillow. Calmly discuss concentration camps for capitalist, etc.
Even when she discusses “the poor”:
Nod your head, remind yourself that her hair smells like happy, smile and reverse the situation.
6. Look For The Positive
Cosmetically, this is a no-brainer. After all, you’re not trying to dent up her sinister ideology right?
You can do it if you try, even if she says something hypocritical like:
Nod your head, remind yourself of her nibble worthy earlobes, smile and look for the positive.
5. Don’t Judge Yourself
Sure, you’re buying her $25 Martini’s purely as an investment in your future . Sure, you’re perving like a Clinton. But remember when she said this?
LOL, as powerful as a man…
Nod your head, remind yourself to show her “the power of your man”, smile and don’t judge yourself.
4. Acknowledge Her Opinions
This one may require a herculean effort on your part. After all, her opinions are stupid. But I’ve found that playing the Steely Dan song “FM” in your head when crazies are talking, helps soothe the conflict going on in your think bucket. It used to be a Slayer song but that stopped working in the early 2000’s for some reason.
So if she says something like:
Nod your head, remind yourself that her neck probably smells like warm pecan pie, smile and acknowledge her opinions.
3. Understand Her Motivations
Power. Plain and simple. That’s the motivation behind any carbon life form in the elitist political class that’s pushing “the crazy”. So let her feel like she’s in charge, even after hearing her say something like:
Nod your head, remind yourself that she’s probably wearing a thong, smile and understand her motivations.
2. Solve One Problem At A Time
When confronted with Level 4 crazy, you may feel overwhelmed, especially with things like this flying out of her blabber hole:
Nod your head, remind yourself that she’s probably a pleaser, smile and solve one problem at a time.
1. Seek Help When Necessary
Everyone needs their Ranger buddy from time to time. Not everyone is equipped to deal with “the crazy” at AOC levels and may find themselves in a situation they don’t know how to handle. If this happens to you, just let me know. Ol’ HB has a special ability to deal with crazy women. They always call back for more.
So when she says things like:
Yep, nod your head, remind yourself that if you don’t, HB is gonna, smile and seek help when necessary.
Also remember, she dates a doughy, ginger white boy, so looks may not be an issue thus increasing your odds at success.
But, often when you see a fella like Riley Roberts with a chick obviously out of his league, that means he’s packin’ a tenderloin. Which makes her a size-queen and could result in you getting your ego demolished with a giggle fit at the expense of your garbage.
But screw it, she’s crazy right? Who’d believe her?
And if this guy can do it, so can you!
I hope this helps the next time you’re confronted with a top shelf honey who is unfortunately infected with “the crazy”.